Another Cold Morning

Sometimes, I'm not sure which is worse-- the nights or the mornings following them.

I woke up today and looked out the window only to be greeted by a thousand snowflakes descending from the clouds. I stared at them for a little bit and realized they were a reflection of how I felt emotionally.

Pretty powerful stuff.

I've done pretty well with hanging onto my mentality that I did everything I could and the ball is not in my court. But sometimes, when you face that mentality and nothing changes for a while, you go back to desperately thinking up ways to correct an error that isn't even necessarily yours to correct, per se.

I remembered a random memory today and it jolted a little bit of shock and depression through me. I remembered how my ex and me saw Cloverfield together a long time ago in the theaters. That was one of my favorite memories of her, and I remember feeling that day that everything was so truly perfect and she was a truly great person and I was very lucky. It's funny how people change.

I've read a lot of your experiences and about your losses, and what's left of my heart goes out to every one of you.

It's wishful thinking, yes, but sometimes I wish the world wasn't so cold... whether it be weather wise, or emotionally.

My Initial Entry: Losing Her

Hey all, my name is Thomas Xavier. (Thomas X). I hope someone out there is reading this right now. I have a feeling that someday, though, a lot of people will be reading it.

I was never interested in blogging; and to be honest, I thought it was stupid for a long time.

However, the rock in my life, the girl I loved as much as nature loves sunshine, up and left for seemingly no reason, and left me dealing with pain only comparable to a jackhammer through the chest in slowmotion.

Forgive me for being emo, though; it's just, how the hell do you put that type of pain into words? It's tough as hell, I'll admit. And I am a very strong person. You have to be tough to be what I am going to be in life.

This is helping, though, to imagine that others may be getting some type of comfort from reading this... people who are going through the same thing I am right now. I'm def. extending myself out there to help whoever I can. Always been that way. It helps me to know I'm helping others.

I'm going to conclude this blog right here, and begin a new one to tell you all the story of what I am facing. Looking forward to hearing back from some people. Keep ya heads high, I know I will.