Hello my friends... my, how time has flown.

Well, look how many months it's been since I last posted.

I'm sure you're curious what has changed by now, aren't you?

Well, I'll start by saying I was completely over my ex. At least 90% anyways. I was off to a very good start.

Then it came. About a week and a half ago, I got a TXT from her saying she misses me and wants to see me.

I didn't know how to react to this at first but I told her I refuse to be her friend. I said I will only accept going on a date.

She accepted.

So, I went and I finally picked her up after so many months of not seeing her. (6 whole months!).

When I first saw her, it choked me up and a few tears were fighting to get out. I was so choked up that I couldn't even talk when I saw her/her mom! It was so difficult.

Well, then came the actual date.

We went to downtown Pittsburgh City together, and I could immediately tell she was distant. All this time seemed to have taken it's toll after all.

But then we got to the movies, way early.. and just sat in my car. I laid my head on her chest, and began to tear up. I pulled away from her slowly, and saw that she was crying. She leaned over to my side of the car and we held eachother and both cried. I asked her if she still loved me, and she said she did..

For the rest of that night, I held her and things felt like they used to be.

I cried as I drove her back home, thinking this would be the last time I saw her. She held me and cried too and said we would see eachother soon.

Everything was like it used to be.

We were even saying "I love you" every night before we went to bed. I couldn't believe it...

We actually even made plans to go to the beach together in June. Everything was so perfect. I was so happy.

Then out of nowhere a few mornings ago, it all changed. She said she didn't know if she could go anymore. And then she pulled the same bs again about how busy she was, and how she doesn't want to lead me on.. because she has no time for a relationship.

At this point, I really had it. I wasn't mean, I wasn't cruel. I truly am more mature than I used to be. I simply told her how bad it hurt, and that I'll let how much she's going to miss me, speak for itself.

And that was that..

I can't believe it all fell through. Things were going so well... I wish she didn't contact me and bring me back down again.

I really don't want to start from square one again.. God the feeling of loneliness is like being crucified.