Sorry

Sorry my friends that I haven't been able to post on here as often as I would like to.

I wish I could say that it is because I am making major progress and healing like a damn medic... but that isn't the case.

Yesterday and today I actually realized that I don't even want to watch movies that came out during the time period that I was with my ex. Seriously, like, I won't go rent "I am Legend", etc., just because I saw it while I was with my ex, and watching it again now would just bring back painful memories...

I feel crazy. I am doing okay off and on, though... it's just when those painful memories come out of the woodwork's with no warnings... it catches me completely off guard and can ruin my outlook for a while to come.

Someone told me that I should just be happy for going through the experience, even though it's over now.

Yeah, real easy for you to say dude, when you aren't missing that special person ever minute of the day... every minute feeling like an eternity when you're thinking about her. (Or for the girls out there, thinking about HIM).



On a happier note, I've been writing my book lately... it's going along well, and I've got the website up and running... looking to get it published around the February/March of 09 time slot. That's been taking my mind off of things, and I'm grateful for that. Hopefully the pain subsides in the time period to come... or hopefully she does what she says, and comes back.

I wonder if things will be different, though? I wonder if they'll be better... assuming I take her back. (Which of course I want to, because this pain is like an ocean that I'm stuck out in the middle of, with no raft and no swimming skills).

I want to start fresh with her, and relearn about each other... because there is no possible way things can just pick up where they left off. If a relationship is to have a chance to survive after a break, then in my opinion, you need to re-learn and start from the basics. Learn to love again from the beginning.

I hope I get the chance still. I really do. Every night before I go to bed, I hope and pray for a second chance. And I know I'm not alone. Once again, my best wishes goes out to everyone dealing with the same.