Music can make the Heart Break

Hey all-- how are ya?

Today I was at work... I went to the backroom to punch something up on the computer, and I heard a song and it caused some intense pain.

The song was a song that my ex showed me. I really liked it because of her, and I found out it was the song her brother and his wife got married to. So it was special to me, as it was special to her.

I forgot all about it after we broke up-- but then for the first time in my life, I heard it on the radio in the backroom. I didn't cry, no tears fell-- but I felt a TON of pain in my head and I was without a doubt, very, very saddened by it.

I quickly punched what I had to into the computer, and then made my way out of the area like lightning from the clouds.

I was able to regain myself and push out the pain by the time I left work a few minutes later. By the time I got back to my car, I was feeling happy again.... or should I say numb?

I really don't feel a lot. I feel like I'm blocking out my emotions. They say this is normal, but it just doesn't feel normal, you know? I haven't really cried since I lost my ex. A few tears have fallen, but I haven't just cried or anything.

This is a sign of depression.

I worry that I may be bottling my emotions or something. Maybe not dealing with emotions properly... which is the last thing I need right now, ya know? I already am feeling lonely and chalk full of regret and what not, and now I have to worry about that potential issue too.

They say when it rains, it pours.

That's definitely an accurate saying.

I'm doing a little better now. I just feel numb.